Can somebody save me

With all that is going on, I feel like I'm reverting back to the situation I was in before...

I should get out of this quicksand before I get all swallowed up.

I need to be brave
I need to be strong
I need to be happy

Random thoughts

Today I took a a child for my first withdrawal in this school. 

It has been a long time since I did withdrawal, from when I left practicum. I kind of forgot how much I love interacting with the kids. Especially when it was so hard to arrange for withdrawal during school hours recently, making me feel very 挫败, and I felt that maybe I shouldn't work here.

Then today after withdrawal, I felt my happiness again. I think it was also because the kid was very well behaved, haha. And things are also slowly falling into place. I think for me, I don't mind if the kid takes a slightly longer time to learn, compared to if the kids have compliance issue. If the child doesnt comply, I will feel very bad because it is like I have no control and shows my weakness, so it will really test my patience.

Today, I'm so glad I found the love for my job again! Kids really have the ability to make you feel better! ")

Japan, Hokkaido Day 4 - Skiing

It was skiing day, super excited, cause I thought I will be a pro like on those on television. After that day, I have decided I am so not suitable for skiing.

Decided to go to Kokusai because of the distance. Initially we were worried that we won't be able to ski because the opening was delayed due to lack of snow, but luckily it opened before we flew there.

Bus Tickets of Kokusai

In the early stages of winter, they only have one bus there in the morning and one bus back in the evening. The frequency of the buses will increase as the amount of snow increases. We were damn kiasu, we arrived half an hour before to get the tickets. Haha as the queue grew with pros, my stress also grew.

All geared up

Spent 9400 yen renting the ski (5200 yen) set and clothing set (4200 yen). Actually if you have your own waterproof and light jacket, plus water proof pants, you don't need to rent their clothing set.

Selfie

Before we can reach the snow, we have to take the escalator up. Almost died, because the ski is very heavy, and I had no idea how to go up the escalator while holding the skis. Luckily, I didn't roll down the escalator.

Super pengx because I think I took half an hour to put on the ski.

After that I gave up. It takes me half an hour to put on the skis, 5 seconds to ski and fall, and I have to repeat the cycle again. So I have decided that if I ever go and ski again, I will hire a coach.
However, Eunice picked up skiing very quickly. Haha, that is a difference between a sporty person and a non-sporty person. She tried to teach me, but I totally couldn't pick up. I think she became very pek chek, cause she kept asking me to slant the stick and from my view I already slant it, haha but actually I did not. Plus, I couldn't get myself to stop, and once I fall, I was not able to stand up unless I took out my skis.

Took the cable car up because we bought the ticket that included lift, and we didn't want to waste it. So we took a round trip. Haha, if you are a newbie like me, don't need to buy the ticket with lift, because no chance to go up and ski down.

I'm more suited to have snowball fights than to ski!

And taking selfies too!

After this skiing trip, I feel like I can better understand the frustration that some of the students may be facing. For me, it's a one-off thing and I'm already so irritated, what more for them, when it is an everything issue.

After dinner, took the train down to Odori station and went to the sapporo white illumination light display at Odori Park.

Sapporo Tower

There was a fair going on at there but everything was just expensive.

After walking around, we decided to walk back to our hotel. Thankfully we have google map to guide us back.

Mandatory photo with clock tower

While we were walking back to our hotel, happened to pass by the sapporo branch of the crab place that we wanted to go, and it was fully booked on a weekday night too.

My present from skiing

Japan, Hokkaido Day 3 - Otaru

The holiday is coming to an end, and this is my first blog post of the holiday. What have I been doing! Haha, I'm already looking forward to the December holiday.

Supposed to go for skiing on our 3rd day, but I bought the tickets for Otaru on the wrong day, so since we haven't bought the bus tickets to skiing, 将错就错。The welcome pass comes with the otaru return tickets and a one-day subway ticket. The subway ticket can be used any time.

The snow that morning was damn heavy. Walked out of the hotel to the above image. I think it was the coldest day during the period we were in hokkaido.

Poor shoes can wet 

 My boots got wet, even though when I bought it they were supposed to be waterproof. Definitely not waterproof.

While finding out way to the place, we walked past this railway track and there was this uncle there shoveling. He was super nice, and he gave us a map and told us where to get nice sushi. He really went out of the way because he had to remove his gloves and all, get the map out for us and circle the place for us. He also suggested that we go to the bridge area later in the day when it is dark because it will be more beautiful with the lights. He even helped us to take a photo here.

 The Letao cake is worth trying. Soft and fluffy, and see my cup of hot drink. I hardly drink hot drinks in Singapore, but really couldn't take the cold weather.

I wonder was it because it was too cold so my eyes couldn't open, or is it because my eyes are really small. 

Musical Box Museum

The whole musical box museum is filled with...musical boxes! They have all kinds of musical box, from fairies to cats to build your own musical box - you can select your own box and music. However, the musical boxes there are really expensive. 

Sanrio Musical Box

So many cats

One big cat

 It is super difficult to choose one musical box and with the music you like since they have a lot of choices for you to choos fromm. I bought a piano musical box, which until now, I haven't opened yet.

We asked one of the staff there if he knew where the sushi place was, and he very kindly sent us out of the shop and pointed the way to us. Seriously, so kind!

Kani Don

 As I don't really eat raw food, so I ordered their Kani. Haha now after I came back from Japan, I'm eating much more sushi.

Eunice's sushi

Rainbow Ice-Cream

While make our way back to the bridge, although the weather was really so cold, how to not order their rainbow ice-cream. It's good except the last 2 layers of black sesame and matcha, haha but that is because I don't really like matcha and black sesame.

I think people will be thinking - wtf 1.4 degrees and you call it cold?!?! Haha, but it was really super cold, especially when the wind blew.

Before the sun sets

I jumped, I jumped, I jumped jumped jumped. Haha, luckily I didn't slip and fall, and break my crown.

After the sun sets

I think the view at night was super nice, especially since they had all these blue lighting. Haha, and I think I look damn nice in this photo.

Snippets of work

Yesterday was my last day of practicum. It's amazing how 10 weeks have flew past just like that, when I was worrying how am I going to survive people observing my lessons.

I think my students are really worried that I will have no money and no boyfriend.  When my ct asked what are their last words for me
X: I hope you get a rich boyfriend

F: I hope your school pay you more and you have more than 2 dollars in your wallet.

And then there are the
T and A and S: I hope you get nice students 

Sometimes I wish that I am able to capture all the moments of life in video.

Anyway,
For me: I hope I continue to meet nice people in my line of work and make a positive difference in the lives of the children. 

Snippets of work

I'm so glad that I'm done with all my observations. But this also means the end is nearing. Mixed feelings again. Sometimes when I feel like I can't anymore, I can't wait to ...

Me: yesterday my teacher said that you are a very good boy.
J: I heard him say that you are very naughty.
Me: when when did he say that?
J: I don't remember.
Me: Means you are dreaming

Haha actually my nies was just kidding with my ct.

X: you don't have a boyfriend right?
.
.
.
X: you will marry a rich and handsome boy.

TaQbin

Haven't been blogging for a long time. No time to blog but when something bad happens, there is time to complain. :o

I think TaQbin has very bad delivery services. My brother arranged for them to pick some things up for delivery, which is supposed to be picked up before 12pm. So I woke up early in case they come and I couldn't hear. Then they were not here by 12.30pm so I called them. Then the person arranged for it to be delivered before four, but until 430 still nobody here to pick it up. So I called them again, and he told him he couldn't get the driver so he say alternatively I can rearrange the pick up. Angry, because of them I woke up early and didn't dare to nap.

And this not the first time this had happened. Previously they were also late for pick up but at least they came.

Their customer service though was good because they were apologetic about the long wait. However, more improvement is required for their core business.

What a day

Omg, I have a class at 8.30 and now 8.57 I am still stuck at the expressway near mandai.

There was a jam, and this driver called sos and took another route, so he exited the expressway at the exit which led to innova. Half an hour later, I saw myself going pass innova again and he was going back out using the same exit, which meant that he spent the past half an hour going around woodlands but didn't bring me any closer to school. I bet if he took the usual route, even if it is slightly later than usual,  I would have already reached school.

Now I'm stuck in this terrible jam on mandai road, which seems even more terrible than before he exited the expressway.

Omg does the driver even knows where he is going. This is damn terrible especially since our lecturers and tutors are super strict about being on time.

Update: reached school at about 10.30, when I left house at 6.30pm. 6 hours of travelling for 2 hours of school.

SAVH

Sitting in the classroom before lesson blogging. Suppose to be assignment but I think the ling gan only comes nearer to the deadline. So stuck.

Went to Singapore Association for the Visually Impaired yesterday as part of the the motor and sensory difficulties module. We got to experience the dining in the dark. It was a good experience. The room was really dark and you cannot see anything, not even your 5 fingers. I realized that when I cannot see, everything tended to feel very far away from me. I feel that I lost my spatial awareness. As a result, I spoke quite loud and my friend beside me asked me to stop shouting. I also got a bit of sensory overload because everybody is talking, so I heard a lot of noise but yet can't see where is everybody.

It's very humbling to see them all so positive. And I'm very proud to be in my professor class too.

Japan, Hokkaido - Day 2

Woke up super early so I can go to the onsen again before going for breakfast. 

Our sumptuous breakfast

Met the lady from dinner and she remembered us. I wonder how many hours do they work everyday. 

Ate so much fish there that my fish quota was met for the year. I love the egg rolls that they served, and I got 2 servings! because Eunice doesn't eat eggs.

After breakfast, went back to pack and it was time to board the bus at 10am to head to Sapporo. Thanks to the onsen, I had such a good sleep on the bus.

We had sometime before check-in time so we went to explore sapporo station and to get our train tickets from the JR office. The sapporo station is quite big so it can take some time to orientate yourself. 

After checking in, we went off to Shiroi Kobito Factory. 

No real reindeer, fake one will do

It's christmas, so they had christmas lightings set up inside.

When at shiroi koibito factory, even if the weather is freezing and you feel like your nose, ears and fingers are going to drop off, you still have to eat their ice-cream.

After that bought lots at their shop. Bai se lian ren is like a must buy when in Japan, even in Tokyo, so what's more at their homeland - hokkaido. Buy everything, bombed 9727 Yen there. I quite like their chocolate drink, is very rich and chocolatey. Actually if you are just looking for the normal biscuits, there are many places in Hokkaido that sell them, so don't necessarily have to buy there. But I guess sometimes, it's just the feel.

After shopping, went up their toy exhibition to take a look.

Pikachussss

Their sky turns dark very early, about 4 plus 5 and it will be dark already.
Took the train down to susukino station because we wanted to have a sumptuous dinner of crab at Sapporo Kani Honke. But when we reached there, it was fully booked. So if you want to go there, remember to make it booking before hand. They are not only full on Sundays because when we passed by the Sapporo branch on Tuesday, it was also fully booked.

Initially we were thinking of eating it another day after we booked, but we past by a random crab place and decided to just eat there.

King Crab Shabu Shabu - 5400 Yen per pax

So precious

648 Yen

I ordered their rice where they will cook the rice in the broth after you are done. It taste abit like our lobster porridge.

School is starting on Monday, journey to the west starts all over again (and this time no hostel!). I guess blogging will have to take a backseat again, but I hope I continue blogging because when I read back on my post, it brings back not only memories, but sometimes gives me insight on my emotions too.

Feeling fat and ugly

Bought a dress a Chatuchak yesterday and fml, cannot fit. Even though when held up against my body look like it can fit, it can't.

I'm really super fat. Usually people say no you're not fat, but I think I'm actually fatter than I look. Or people are just being kind. I always cannot wear free size clothes unless it is elastic or is suppose to be loose fit. Dont know why this time I buy, must be feeling sad that I have no clothes to buy. And when I buy clothes with size, I'm seldom an m size, usually an l size and sometimes an xl. So, I'm fat.

So now I know I have no clothes to buy in bkk, I can only buy shoes and bag for my myself. And of course food.  And skirts too, because their skirts are elastic, previously bought a few, this time didn't ?manage to buy any, don't have the design I'm looking for.

Not only am I fat, my eyes also so small, not only small, but also one small one big. Then my skin condition also not good. Then hair also not nice. I solemnly promise I will never buy free size clothes until I become skinny..always cannot fit. Look like 💩. Really faints.

Okay, rant over. Going off to bed.

Hello 2016

Haha, this is so true. So 2016 is just round the corner, and as with every year, it's time to review my resolutions for 2015 and make new resolutions for 2016!

Resolutions for 2015
1) Lose 8kgs. Haha, I didn't even lose 1kg. 
2) Work hard in my job and give my best to the students. SPIN - know their Strengths, Prior knowledge about them, Interest and Needs.
3) Study hard when I go into NIE. Although I procrastinate a lot, I think I have worked quite hard. My results are okay, except one module that is super disappointing.  
4) Go on 2-3 overseas trips. Went to Taiwan in March and Japan in December :)
5) Drink more water, slowly and steadily increase my water intake. I still need to work on this, I drink coke, bubbletea, kickapoo, milo, milk ... yet I don't drink plain water frequently.
6) Continue to keep my room and wardrobe neat. My room looked as if a tornado went through it before the holidays but now it's still messy but much better.
7) Be more positive and less naggy. Am I?
8) Find a boyfriend. However, according to my horoscope, this year likely I can't find one. Don't have, I don't even want to add it in my resolution next year.
9) Don't forget my Korean, continue to practice my Korean. I was still practising until june, hopefully next year I will do better
10) Blog more. I feel that this year my frequency of blogging wasn't very good. Maybe 3-5 blog posts per month. Quite good, except during the time I was in school when I was rushing out assignments, so forgivable?
11) Achieve work life balance. Work hard and spend time with my family and friends. Yep, I think generally I did. 
12) Be more sociable and expand my social circle. Smile smile and be more open. I made some new friends in school, but I think I am still very shy.
13) Be more courageous.
14) I really really really hope that I can be somebody who give and totally 不求回报. Unconditional giving to me is really not easy, I guess I'm too self-centred. I think I am trying, although I have not reached it yet, I will keep trying. 
15) I know previously I kept making resolutions but I will just forget about them. So hopefully I can buy  quarterly review of them. I only reviewed it once, oops.

Resolutions for 2016
1) Engage in a healthier lifestyle - drinking more water, have a better sleep routine, exercise walk more...
2) Be kind, have courage. Also, be more positive, patient and smile more! :) Think more for others, be less self-centered.
3) Save more money.
4) Continue to practise Korean.
5) Study hard and work hard.
6) Continue to spend time with my family and friends and show them my love more.
7) Take the HPV vaccine. I have been wanting to take it this year but I kept procrastinating due to my fear of injections.
8) Get rid of my phone addiction and limit my phone use. I think I have been using too much of my phone.
9) Expand my horizon - be it through reading, travelling, attending courses...
10) Love life, love myself.

I won't say I'm all prepared for 2016 but I will try my best in 2016. May 2016 continue to bless me with joy, happiness, love and wealth.
Leaving behind the bad in 2015, let's all move towards an amazing 2016!
Happy New Year and see you again in 2016!