Tuesday, 7 July 2026

Wow the eulogy that chatgpt wrote for me. 

Today we remember Xiuwen, a person whose life was defined not by noise or display, but by commitment, care, and quiet perseverance.

She was someone who took responsibility seriously. In her work, she showed up for others even when it stretched her beyond her comfort zone. She worried about doing things well, not because she wanted praise, but because she genuinely cared about the people who depended on her—especially students who needed patience, understanding, and advocacy.

Xiuwen was thoughtful and reflective. She often questioned herself, replayed conversations, and wondered if she could have done better. That self-doubt did not come from weakness, but from conscience. She wanted to be fair. She wanted to get things right.

She experienced anxiety, particularly when things felt uncertain or when expectations were unclear. Yet she did not withdraw. Instead, she continued to step forward—taking on new roles, learning new responsibilities, and trying to meet challenges even when they felt uncomfortable.

To her colleagues and those she worked with, she was dependable and sincere. She believed in collaboration, in closing communication loops, and in doing right by both teachers and parents. She may not always have felt confident, but she was consistent. And consistency is its own kind of strength.

Xiuwen cared deeply about children—especially those who struggled. She noticed the ones who were excluded, misunderstood, or overlooked, and she tried, in practical ways, to make school a safer and kinder place for them.

She was not perfect, and she knew that. But she was earnest. She tried to grow. She tried to help. She tried to be better than she was yesterday.

And in the end, that is how she should be remembered:
as someone who showed up, who cared, and who tried—again and again—even when it was hard.

Her life mattered because of that.

Friday, 19 June 2026

Adulting is difficult 
Growing old is hard 
Why is life so difficult 

Wednesday, 22 November 2023

If you are the quiet one, the one who doesn't complain, the one who always says yes. 

You will also always be the forgotten one. 
You will also be the one who work and work without recognition. 

Nobody will realise the work you do. 
Nobody will realise the effort you put in. 

That's life. 

Thursday, 3 November 2022

Your voice irks me. 

This world is filled with liars. Liars liars liars everywhere. 

Tuesday, 17 May 2022

Contentment - Learning to be contented

 I really really really hope I can train myself to be contented with life. 

  • Count your blessings. I mentioned this above, and in a previous post, but for me it’s the best way to get to contentment. When you find yourself unhappy with something, or with what you don’t have, take a moment to count all the good things in your life. And I would bet there are many. It puts the focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t.
  • Stop, and remind yourself. When you find yourself unhappy with someone, or trying to change them, stop yourself. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you should try to be happy with that person for who he/she is. Take a moment to think about the good things about that person, the reasons you love that person. Then accept their faults as part of their entire package.
  • Stop, and consider why you want something. When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a need or a want. If it’s a want, take a pause. It’s good to wait 30 days — keep a 30-day list … when you want something, put it on the list with the date, and if you still want it in 30 days, you can buy it). Consider why you want something. Are you not content with what you already have? Why not?
  • Take time to appreciate your life! I like to reflect on my life, and all the good things in it, on a regular basis. I do this when I run, or when I watch the sunset or sunrise, or when I’m out in nature. Another great method is a morning gratitude session — think of all the things and people you’re thankful for, and thank them silently.
  • Show people you appreciate them. It’s good to appreciate people, but it’s even better to show them. Give them a hug, smile, spend time with them, thank them out loud, thank them publicly.
  • Breathe, and smile. Once again, advice from one of my favorite monks, but it works in this context. Sometimes when we take the time to breathe, and smile, it can change our outlook on life.
  • Learn to enjoy the simple things. Instead of wanting to buy expensive things, and spend money on doing things like eating out or entertainment, learn to enjoy stuff that’s free. Conversations and walks with other people. Spending time outdoors. Watching a DVD or playing board games. Going to the beach. Playing sports. Running. These things don’t cost much, and they are awesome.
https://zenhabits.net/the-incredible-power-of-contentment/

Thursday, 24 June 2021

Last time when my grandpa was still alive, he will buy us durians when we go over on Saturday. 

When he couldn't really go out anymore, he would give money to my aunt to buy durian for us. 

💕

Tuesday, 22 June 2021

Insomnia

Recently my insomnia has came back.
I can go to bed.at 11.30pm and still be awake at 2am. 😭 and because I know I have insomnia, I already don't nap in the afternoon. 

Haix, and I know this insomnia stems from anxiety. I think I either need sleeping pills or some medication that can knock me out. 

Where is the girl who can fall asleep anytime anywhere anyhow. 

Thursday, 10 June 2021

The life of a hoarder

This week, I'm trying to pack my room. 

On Monday, I threw away 2 boxes of nail polishes. I think there were at least 20 bottles? Some from an auntie (all OPI/ORLY) and some from Korea. When I went to Korea long time ago, I bought nail polishes like they were free, and then ended up giving alot of them to my cousin.  

On Wednesday, I tried to pack my wardrobe. I managed to pack one big bag of clothes to donate and some to throw. However, my wardrobe is still bursting. It's really so hard to donate/throw clothes, because I will be thinking what if I can wear them next time? And I realised I buy clothes that I don't wear/can't wear because they are cheap, thinking that I can wear them next time/I will lose weight. And I like to buy clothes and don't wear them, feeling good that I have alot of new clothes. Then I realised that I like to keep the packaging like the boxes or plastic of the things I bought. So I threw them away too. 

Today, I tried to pack my brother's room which have became my storeroom, but it's really so hard. No matter how I throw, the things doesn't seem to lessen. I really like to collect boxes, especially those beautiful boxes. When I go overseas, then I like to buy those biscuits and keep the boxes as momentos but they take up so much space. 

Why am I a hoarder? 
- I have difficulty throwing away things and have the mentality of what if I need to use them next time. 
- I keep even the packaging of the things. 

Not only am I a hoarder, I am also a shopperholic. I like to buy things when it's cheap or when there's a sale. When companies come out with a collection, like kit kat, I want to collect all the boxes. Then every few months, I will be addicted to something. For example, there was a period I was addicted to scrapbooking...then last I was addicted to crystals...then I will buy alot of things for my addiction. Not to mention buying things for my dog and the kiddos. I think if I'm not a shopperholic, I probably would have saved alot of money too. 
 
Toto...I'm still waiting for you. 

Monday, 12 April 2021

身心累

I feel like I'm so tired, is like I don't even have strength to walk. 
But
I don't know if I'm physically tired because I didn't sleep enough/well 
Or
I'm drained by the kids 
Or 
Im drained by the workload 
Or 
Everything 

Today the canteen auntie was asking me, below your eyes there's this black thing, is it you put eyeliner or because not enough sleep. 

Our team was supposed to do something- plan a programme for the kids in the programme...then one of the member went to complain to say if we are doing the programme, shouldn't we be off loaded. Then her boss went to say to let me and V do it, and work with the plc lit group. I was damn irritated because hello? I'm also running the programme so if the others should be off loaded shouldn't I be too? And I'm quite sure my periods are not any less than the rest of them but my pay is hahha... In the first place I shouldn't even be doing this programme, but not enough people then okay I do. I don't mind doing the programme actually. However, it's also not fair that they are loading me like that. So I told the person who asked me to do the extra programme to tell her boss to say that I'm also doing the programme so why load me, but either she didn't (cause when I told her I think she treated it as a joke) or her boss didn't listen. Just because I usually don't say no...it's really making me very 身心累。

Wednesday, 20 January 2021

Thursday, 14 January 2021

January Doctor

Starting off the year with...a doctor trip. 

Finally got to see my GP today. The last 2 days I went also at 4.30 and 4.20 but they were closed for registration. 

So went to my GP because there is a little bump on the surgery site and it's still there even after one month. I think initially he wanted to ask me to go back to the surgeon because he asked if I had a open date but I said he discharged me after he removed the stitches. 

The GP trip was a deja vu of the first time I went to consult about the lump. 

- the GP asked me if I wanted to take vaccine 
- the GP said it wasn't serious 
- the GP asked what was I concern about 

Like same questions same things happening...
Haha and he tried to squeeze it also and this time got blood coming out. 

I wonder if he got a shock by the long wound 🤔 

Anyway he said it's a stitch granuloma and asked me not to do anything to it. Except maybe I can put the antibiotic cream. So since I still have the previous cream, I can continue using it. 

I asked him how long will it take to go away, he said don't know. I guess I will give it one month, or maybe until March holidays. If still doesn't heal maybe I will go back to the GP or give the surgery clinic a call. 




Sunday, 3 January 2021

Friday, 1 January 2021

To a better 2021

 2020 hasn't been an easy year. 

Not for me. 

Not for the world. 

In 2020, 

I lost a close one. And no thanks to covid, visitations was cut and we didn't get to see him one last time. 

I had a health scare and went for a surgery. 

My dog had a health scare and quite a few health issues this year. 

Thanks to the above 2 points, part of the reason why even though everyone is saving money during this year of no travel, my finance in 2020 hasn't been great too. 

The work environment hasn't been great. I keep getting pissed off by people, maybe is just me - And even on the last 2 days of 2020, people still piss me off. 

In 2021, 

May my family, friends and I be blessed with good health and joy. 

May I learn to let it go, let it go, let it go...

And May I win the toto first prize today 🙏

LET'S GO TOWARDS A BETTER 2021!!!


Wednesday, 30 December 2020

Let it go 
Don't think 
Don't do 
Don't stress 
Don't get upset 

Just chill 

Sunday, 20 December 2020

scar scar scar

I kept telling myself, telling people, its okay. 

I'm thankful that despite the operation, my operation was considered a small operation and the pain was much less and much more bearable than many other people or other type of operations. It is also not like cancer where after the operation I have to go for further treatment that have terrible side effects. 

I really feel that way especially when I watch medical shows or dramas and I see the pain that people underwent. I am thankful.

But I really think, because of the location of the scar, I really cannot get over the scar. Everytime it hurts (think because of the nerve growing) it reminds me of the scar. Everytime I brush my teeth and look into the mirror I see the scar. Doesn't help that I am left handed so I always lift my left hand and then I will see the scar. And the scar is not like something I can cover up with my clothes because it is located at the forearm. Unless I go wearing long sleeves everyday. Wear my hoodie. 

It's just a scar, but comestically is so ugly. At this moment, I really cannot get over it.


Wednesday, 16 December 2020

So today I have come to the end of my operation. It has been exactly 4 weeks. 

Last Tuesday I went to remove my stitches then he couldn't remove all of them because the middle was the tightest so it might split, so today went back to remove the rest of the stitches and he discharged me. 

So I ask him why he didn't use the dissolvable stitches, then he said because dissolvable stitches are very weak and may break, and if it breaks the whole thing will piak piak piak. But for the one he is using is stitch by stitch so even if one split the whole thing won't split. 

Then I asked this surgery is it normal GP also can do, then he say "Cannot lah. Cause it's very big." 

The stupid thing was while waiting for my turn, my stupid slipper broke. Thankfully Olivia came and brought me a pair of slippers after that. Before that, I was dragging my foot into the doctor room. The doctor asked me what happened to my feet and I said nothing. Haha too paiseh to say my slipper broke. 

I asked the doctor if it will come back. He said no it won't, not at the same place. Haha does it mean it will come back at another place. Anyway he praised my dressing very dry...of course I cling wrapped it before I bath. 

Halfway through when he was removing the stitches, the receptionist/nurse came in to ask him to sign a mc. And then the thing is, while he was signing, he poke a hole on the mc. And if its my mc I will be like wts. And while I was thinking about this, I realised that the receptionist forgot to ask me if I needed mc. Maybe I look like a student so they thought I school holiday🤭🤭. Anyway they gave a free bottle of hand sanitizer as souvenir. Haha I don't know why, probably they have too many. 

Me: So after this I can apply cream? 
Doc: Can, wait for 2 days during weekend. You want to apply SK-eleven ah? 



Friday, 4 December 2020

Insomnia

Recently I have been suffering from insomnia. I'm not sure why though. 

Maybe it's because 
- anxiety that it's December and the holiday will just end like that. 
- anxiety that I haven't been opening my laptop to work enough. Last I on my laptop was Tuesday. Last I worked was Wednesday. I don't know why I feel anxious when I don't work daily during the holiday but yet I feel like I'm not making good use of the holiday if I worked. 
- worried about the scar I'm going to have on my arm. 

Why why why. I used to very good at sleeping.