Life

Today received news that my paternal grandma passed away, and we were supposed to fly over to Macau to visit her next week.

My cousin fb messaged me at 12am but I was asleep already. Then this morning I received the news while on the way to school.It came as a shock because my father was just informing my uncle where we will be staying and all. And I was all prepared to bring my Polaroid there so that we can take pictures and she can keep the pictures. 

But she has lived a long life, she is 103 years old. I visited her in June last year, and though long distance she was in wheelchair but she could still walk and scold people. Although her memory isn't too good and would keep asking the same things.
Does she have a boyfriend?
Next time you can come alone if your father is busy, then I will go to the airport to fetch you.

She loves yacult, but when she has one whole packet of yacult she will share them with the other elderly in the old folks home. 

You cannot give her money because she will then lock herself in the room thinking that people want to take her money. 

I'm not close to her because most of time I'm in Singapore while she is in hk/macau. But I still feel the pain. Initially I think I was shock and abit lost, like then next week how? Then slowly you will feel the ache.

Our last photo taken last year

Then sometimes what people say just doesn't make sense. My colleague was like 

Colleague: maybe can take compassionate leave even though you not even sad.
Me: what you mean by not even sad
Colleague: You not even sad, you see you still smiling. After I heard that, immediately I felt a sense of irritation.

I'll still be going to Macau next week, though now the feeling/purpose will be different. We will be there for the funeral because the last day of funeral will be on our second day there (15th March).

This is the second consecutive Tuesday that I emo. Last week was because of the observation that made me felt super discouraged.