Thursday 19 November 2020

Anxiety

It's 3.46am and I just had a weird dream and I can't sleep. Thats why I'm blogging because of the anxiety. 

So the lump on my hand didn't get better so I visited the doctor for the third time last Friday and he referred me to a surgeon at Mt Alvernia for incision and drainage. I wanted to go next Monday but my colleagues kept asking me to go to a&e and maybe they can do immediately cause its not getting better. But like abit weird to go to a&e.over this. Anyway I called up Mt Alvernia for an appointment. So supposed.to book for next Monday right. Then the person said the doctor is on leave until next Monday so just nice. Then she asked if there's an infection so I said I think so because all abscesses are infection ma. Then she said if its infected then don't want to drag anymore and to come down tomorrow (which is today) and she will give me an appt at 930 for the consultation, but honestly fml okay, I wasn't expecting that.

The moment I knew that I have to go down tomorrow, my anxiety started to kick in. Is like I suddenly blank out and couldn't work anymore and started to pace around. 

The surgery may or may not be done tomorrow (honestly? I hope not) 

Wishing myself all the best and I hope I can be brave. 

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