Small Steps Lead to Big Strides

Why does people ask me, or the people who are shy/introverted, "why you so quiet?", not like we will ask them, "why you so noisy?". Why does being quiet seem like a sin now. Usually I'm not really bothered because I am really very shy and not talking but I kind of got bothered by the statement yesterday because I think I've been trying to be more vocal but yet people are still passing this comment. I think if they see the past me, haha the now me won't be quiet anymore.

I think recently in school I have become braver. Maybe it is nothing to others but I think for me, seeing how I was in Uni, I think it's quite commendable. Minus the times when we were forced to talk, I have been trying to voluntarily talk more during class. I think I was quite amazed by myself on Monday during one of the class and we were supposed to share, then when my groupmate said she is not sure so not able to share, I voluntarily shared. Haha, but I think that was the only time. Next week I will try harder. :/ Along the way I tried to raise my hands and answer questions too. I think some lecturers I dare to do it more but some I still don't really dare yet. My thinking process is damn funny, I will be thinking in my head "Okay if nobody raise hand then I will raise hand." Then maybe the thought will repeat for 3-5 times before I finally raise my hand or sometimes I raise my hand so short nobody can see. During group discussions, I have been sharing more unless the question I really don't know how to answer, because my processing time is slower so I really need more time to think.

Maybe it is nothing to any other student but I think for me, this small step can be something that I can be proud of and commend myself for.

Actually I have been thinking why I am able to be more vocal now. I am not sure if my previous school has made me more vocal, or sometimes the content I am more comfortable with it, or the people here are generally nice so I feel more comfortable to share?

When I'm scare, one thing I will do is avoid eye contact. Then kenna shoot, autistic.

I am trying but give me time.

Mixture

Last day of school today. This day came quickly and I didn't expect parting to be so difficult. All is good though, I am sure I will go back to visit. 11 months, shuo chang bu chang, shuo duan bu duan.

I remember my first day of school, we had to report at 1.30pm to our mentor and days before I went to the school website to check out who is my mentor and I remember I texted Cheryl saying "omg, my mentor looks quite fierce." Haha, who knew that she herself is special needs. Haha, kidding.

Due to my nature, it is not easy for me to bond with anybody and everybody but it is amazing how I am able to get along with the care team of this school.

Apart from my colleagues, I will miss the students too. Children are really the most innocent people, that is why working with them can be very enjoyable. Although sometimes they frustrate you and test your patience, at the end of the day, you still love working with them. Some are the kids are really so sweet when I tell them I'm leaving. They make leaving so hard too.

Moved my things to my hostel with the help of my brother on Saturday. He keep saying that my school and hostel is damn lao ko. Bought my laptop on Saturday too, Lenovo Yoga 3-14, I got the intel-core i7 because it was the same price as intel-core i5 due to national day sales. Hopefully digitex next week don't have good deals for this or else I will feel damn sad, haha but shall not itchy fingers and go research. I saw the previous it fair brouchures like not much discount for lenovo. I heard they can have very good deals too because Cheryl told me she bought her laptop last year? during it fair and got 300 dollars capitaland vouchers.

I think starting school is damn expensive,  need to get a new laptop, if not for school I can survive with my old laptop since it is only the battery life that cmi. Plus staying in hostel makes it even more expensive, need to buy so many things.

Kettle: $20 + $49.90 (I bought one and my father apparently bought one too...on the same day)
Hostel: $235 per month
Hair Dryer: $49.90 (Actually I don't need and I totld my father I don't need, but he still bought)
Pillow: $18
Bedsheet: $12
Laptop: $1499
Application Charge for hostel: $16
Alarm Clock: ???
Towel: $12
Toiletries to bring to hostel: ???

and the list continues ... Haha that is why I say I have financial stress. Good thing is, I can still afford it. I really don't know how people can buy a flat, buy car, take care of their children/parents etc etc. Really admire them.

Suddenly Singapore 50th Birthday and the Jubilee Weekend is coming to an end. We were so hype up for it and suddenly when it is over, feels so weird.

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY AND MAY YOU CONTINUE TO PROSPER AND GROW!!! THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A PLACE I CALL HOME.

Financial Stress

Recently I think I'm feeling financially stress because school is starting.

With the start of school, I have to get a new laptop because my currently laptop only have a battery of life 15 mins?, and every month there is that extra few hundred I have to pay for hostel too. Then if I'm staying hostel, I won't have free dinner from home too. That will be extra burden to my pocket too.