I wonder I can't/don't sleep

Is it because I am not tired or is it because Im so afraid that work is going to start? 

生命

You know, they said that horse has the worst luck this year. I think is true. 

First, **** colleague at work. It's the first time I met such a person.  

Then, the covid virus and CB. 

Then, my dog fell sick. It started last week where he had an eye bump and cause of CB, vet asked me to observe first. On Monday, suddenly I saw him bleeding very badly (apparently he has abscess) and he was also limping, so I called the vet and managed to make an appointment. Thursday brought him for wound cleaning. His leg seems to be better but his eyes seems to have gotten worse...wound Im not so sure. I really panic when I saw him bleeding, I really wonder how am I going to cope when he pass on. I will probably  疯掉。

Then today, my grandpa passed away. Got news in the morning he was in critical condition as his BP was very low and in the evening he was gone. We didnt get to see him because of CB. And I am very upset with St Andrew Community Hospital because in the morning they told my uncle all of us can go but 2 at time go up. One hour later when some of us were otw they said miscommunication is only the 4 people registered with them during the CB who can go. What kind of miscommunication is this?! 

With everything going on, it really makes me think what for work so hard, what for save money (some save for their children but I dont have), we dont even know when we will die. 

With all this shit going on, I hope things will get better...