Life recently has been busy busy busy, not really the bad kind of busy, but still really busy. Haha, so busy until I think I am not talking sense.
I think October I will be even busier because there will be a lot of assignments due in October, so good luck to me.
How has school life been? It has been quite good, I am quite happy. I am getting better at sharing in class and for presentation, my eye contact has been getting better but the tremors are still there. I think my background as a psychology student has gave me more confidence when it comes to sharing ideas. However, I think sometimes I tend to be very defensive over the things I say. I need to be more tame and open to what people say, cannot be too rigid in my thinking.
The lecturers of the course I am taking are all really nice. Haha, although I don't really show it, I really love all my lecturers/tutors. They are all very motherly/fatherly, understanding and have a great sense of humour. They are also very passionate about what they do and you can see it when they are giving their lectures. They are also very willing to listen to your questions and suggestions, to them it is really like there are no stupid questions or no stupid sharing, so you will feel quite comfortable sharing in class.
Hall life has been better than I expected. I thought I will lose a lot of weight, but no eh or at max lost 1kg. Indulging in lots of KFC and Subway and Macs. I was a little concerned with the shared toilet but for now it's still good because I haven't really have to fight over the toilet or shower with anyone. I really save a lot of time staying in school without having to travelling to school from home or from home to school. Didn't become best friends with my roomie but we do talk so it is okay. :)
I have a list of books that I want to read, maybe during the holidays.
1) The reason I jump
2) Saving Danny
3) Girl Alone
4) Some book with short stories about working with children with special needs
Looks like there is lots to do during the holidays!
Now, off to bath and back to work!
Monday, 21 September 2015
Friday, 21 August 2015
Small Steps Lead to Big Strides
Why does people ask me, or the people who are shy/introverted, "why you so quiet?", not like we will ask them, "why you so noisy?". Why does being quiet seem like a sin now. Usually I'm not really bothered because I am really very shy and not talking but I kind of got bothered by the statement yesterday because I think I've been trying to be more vocal but yet people are still passing this comment. I think if they see the past me, haha the now me won't be quiet anymore.
I think recently in school I have become braver. Maybe it is nothing to others but I think for me, seeing how I was in Uni, I think it's quite commendable. Minus the times when we were forced to talk, I have been trying to voluntarily talk more during class. I think I was quite amazed by myself on Monday during one of the class and we were supposed to share, then when my groupmate said she is not sure so not able to share, I voluntarily shared. Haha, but I think that was the only time. Next week I will try harder. :/ Along the way I tried to raise my hands and answer questions too. I think some lecturers I dare to do it more but some I still don't really dare yet. My thinking process is damn funny, I will be thinking in my head "Okay if nobody raise hand then I will raise hand." Then maybe the thought will repeat for 3-5 times before I finally raise my hand or sometimes I raise my hand so short nobody can see. During group discussions, I have been sharing more unless the question I really don't know how to answer, because my processing time is slower so I really need more time to think.
Maybe it is nothing to any other student but I think for me, this small step can be something that I can be proud of and commend myself for.
Actually I have been thinking why I am able to be more vocal now. I am not sure if my previous school has made me more vocal, or sometimes the content I am more comfortable with it, or the people here are generally nice so I feel more comfortable to share?
When I'm scare, one thing I will do is avoid eye contact. Then kenna shoot, autistic.
I am trying but give me time.
I think recently in school I have become braver. Maybe it is nothing to others but I think for me, seeing how I was in Uni, I think it's quite commendable. Minus the times when we were forced to talk, I have been trying to voluntarily talk more during class. I think I was quite amazed by myself on Monday during one of the class and we were supposed to share, then when my groupmate said she is not sure so not able to share, I voluntarily shared. Haha, but I think that was the only time. Next week I will try harder. :/ Along the way I tried to raise my hands and answer questions too. I think some lecturers I dare to do it more but some I still don't really dare yet. My thinking process is damn funny, I will be thinking in my head "Okay if nobody raise hand then I will raise hand." Then maybe the thought will repeat for 3-5 times before I finally raise my hand or sometimes I raise my hand so short nobody can see. During group discussions, I have been sharing more unless the question I really don't know how to answer, because my processing time is slower so I really need more time to think.
Maybe it is nothing to any other student but I think for me, this small step can be something that I can be proud of and commend myself for.
Actually I have been thinking why I am able to be more vocal now. I am not sure if my previous school has made me more vocal, or sometimes the content I am more comfortable with it, or the people here are generally nice so I feel more comfortable to share?
When I'm scare, one thing I will do is avoid eye contact. Then kenna shoot, autistic.
I am trying but give me time.
Sunday, 9 August 2015
Mixture
Last day of school today. This day came quickly and I didn't expect parting to be so difficult. All is good though, I am sure I will go back to visit. 11 months, shuo chang bu chang, shuo duan bu duan.
I remember my first day of school, we had to report at 1.30pm to our mentor and days before I went to the school website to check out who is my mentor and I remember I texted Cheryl saying "omg, my mentor looks quite fierce." Haha, who knew that she herself is special needs. Haha, kidding.
Due to my nature, it is not easy for me to bond with anybody and everybody but it is amazing how I am able to get along with the care team of this school.
Apart from my colleagues, I will miss the students too. Children are really the most innocent people, that is why working with them can be very enjoyable. Although sometimes they frustrate you and test your patience, at the end of the day, you still love working with them. Some are the kids are really so sweet when I tell them I'm leaving. They make leaving so hard too.
Moved my things to my hostel with the help of my brother on Saturday. He keep saying that my school and hostel is damn lao ko. Bought my laptop on Saturday too, Lenovo Yoga 3-14, I got the intel-core i7 because it was the same price as intel-core i5 due to national day sales. Hopefully digitex next week don't have good deals for this or else I will feel damn sad, haha but shall not itchy fingers and go research. I saw the previous it fair brouchures like not much discount for lenovo. I heard they can have very good deals too because Cheryl told me she bought her laptop last year? during it fair and got 300 dollars capitaland vouchers.
I think starting school is damn expensive, need to get a new laptop, if not for school I can survive with my old laptop since it is only the battery life that cmi. Plus staying in hostel makes it even more expensive, need to buy so many things.
Kettle: $20 + $49.90 (I bought one and my father apparently bought one too...on the same day)
Hostel: $235 per month
Hair Dryer: $49.90 (Actually I don't need and I totld my father I don't need, but he still bought)
Pillow: $18
Bedsheet: $12
Laptop: $1499
Application Charge for hostel: $16
Alarm Clock: ???
Towel: $12
Toiletries to bring to hostel: ???
and the list continues ... Haha that is why I say I have financial stress. Good thing is, I can still afford it. I really don't know how people can buy a flat, buy car, take care of their children/parents etc etc. Really admire them.
Suddenly Singapore 50th Birthday and the Jubilee Weekend is coming to an end. We were so hype up for it and suddenly when it is over, feels so weird.
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY AND MAY YOU CONTINUE TO PROSPER AND GROW!!! THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A PLACE I CALL HOME.
I remember my first day of school, we had to report at 1.30pm to our mentor and days before I went to the school website to check out who is my mentor and I remember I texted Cheryl saying "omg, my mentor looks quite fierce." Haha, who knew that she herself is special needs. Haha, kidding.
Due to my nature, it is not easy for me to bond with anybody and everybody but it is amazing how I am able to get along with the care team of this school.
Apart from my colleagues, I will miss the students too. Children are really the most innocent people, that is why working with them can be very enjoyable. Although sometimes they frustrate you and test your patience, at the end of the day, you still love working with them. Some are the kids are really so sweet when I tell them I'm leaving. They make leaving so hard too.
Moved my things to my hostel with the help of my brother on Saturday. He keep saying that my school and hostel is damn lao ko. Bought my laptop on Saturday too, Lenovo Yoga 3-14, I got the intel-core i7 because it was the same price as intel-core i5 due to national day sales. Hopefully digitex next week don't have good deals for this or else I will feel damn sad, haha but shall not itchy fingers and go research. I saw the previous it fair brouchures like not much discount for lenovo. I heard they can have very good deals too because Cheryl told me she bought her laptop last year? during it fair and got 300 dollars capitaland vouchers.
I think starting school is damn expensive, need to get a new laptop, if not for school I can survive with my old laptop since it is only the battery life that cmi. Plus staying in hostel makes it even more expensive, need to buy so many things.
Kettle: $20 + $49.90 (I bought one and my father apparently bought one too...on the same day)
Hostel: $235 per month
Hair Dryer: $49.90 (Actually I don't need and I totld my father I don't need, but he still bought)
Pillow: $18
Bedsheet: $12
Laptop: $1499
Application Charge for hostel: $16
Alarm Clock: ???
Towel: $12
Toiletries to bring to hostel: ???
and the list continues ... Haha that is why I say I have financial stress. Good thing is, I can still afford it. I really don't know how people can buy a flat, buy car, take care of their children/parents etc etc. Really admire them.
Suddenly Singapore 50th Birthday and the Jubilee Weekend is coming to an end. We were so hype up for it and suddenly when it is over, feels so weird.
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY AND MAY YOU CONTINUE TO PROSPER AND GROW!!! THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A PLACE I CALL HOME.
Saturday, 1 August 2015
Financial Stress
Recently I think I'm feeling financially stress because school is starting.
With the start of school, I have to get a new laptop because my currently laptop only have a battery of life 15 mins?, and every month there is that extra few hundred I have to pay for hostel too. Then if I'm staying hostel, I won't have free dinner from home too. That will be extra burden to my pocket too.
With the start of school, I have to get a new laptop because my currently laptop only have a battery of life 15 mins?, and every month there is that extra few hundred I have to pay for hostel too. Then if I'm staying hostel, I won't have free dinner from home too. That will be extra burden to my pocket too.
Saturday, 25 July 2015
Hall
Today I got abit upset, maybe abit more upset, because I got notified that my hall will be a double room and there won't be air-con either. Totally opposite of what I chose. Boohoo.
I'm okay with no air-con, I chose air-con because online mentioned that those air-con halls are the newer ones built for YOG so they will have better amenities. But why they didn't give me a single room :'(. My personality is super anti-social so I'm super concerned about living in the same room as a stranger. I think it will be very awkward. The only time I stayed with in a hostel with someone else, was in Korea, and that was with a friend from Secondary school, but now staying with a total stranger will be testing my limits. Plus with someone else in the room, there will be a super lack of privacy. Haha, cannot change clothes in the room and more or less will have to worry about the belongings inside too I think.
Another thing I'm concern about is common toilet. That will be super troublesome, even when going overseas for a few days, I would mostly only stay in places with private toilet. I think I will become constipated from staying in the hostel.
Nonetheless, I shall not worry too much now and try out hostel with an open mind. Anyway I'm considered lucky because I have a home that welcomes me back (I assume), so there is somewhere I can go if I really find hostel unsuitable. Anyway I believe strongly in fate, or that everything happens for a reason. So I guess fate wants me to stay in hall for a reason, maybe I'll make more friends!!!
I'm okay with no air-con, I chose air-con because online mentioned that those air-con halls are the newer ones built for YOG so they will have better amenities. But why they didn't give me a single room :'(. My personality is super anti-social so I'm super concerned about living in the same room as a stranger. I think it will be very awkward. The only time I stayed with in a hostel with someone else, was in Korea, and that was with a friend from Secondary school, but now staying with a total stranger will be testing my limits. Plus with someone else in the room, there will be a super lack of privacy. Haha, cannot change clothes in the room and more or less will have to worry about the belongings inside too I think.
Another thing I'm concern about is common toilet. That will be super troublesome, even when going overseas for a few days, I would mostly only stay in places with private toilet. I think I will become constipated from staying in the hostel.
Nonetheless, I shall not worry too much now and try out hostel with an open mind. Anyway I'm considered lucky because I have a home that welcomes me back (I assume), so there is somewhere I can go if I really find hostel unsuitable. Anyway I believe strongly in fate, or that everything happens for a reason. So I guess fate wants me to stay in hall for a reason, maybe I'll make more friends!!!
Thursday, 9 July 2015
The 'Big Day'
Signed myself to my boss today. My youth.
Hope things will continue to go well and I continue to be happy!
Hope things will continue to go well and I continue to be happy!
Sunday, 5 July 2015
Who Are You
Just finished watching Who Are You: School 2015. The drama is not bad, has romance and mystery and a little bit of humour. It depicts some of the problems students faced in school such as bullying, academic stress from parents and friendship. Thanks Karen for the recommendation!
Once of the most played song in Who Are You, very catchy song but the lyrics of the song is so sad but sometimes yet so true.
There’s an empty world deep in my heart, save me
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Someone somewhere will know my miserable heart
It’s right in front of me but I can’t find it like a oriole bird
I’m flying around by myself in this darkness, in my lonely night
I’m flying around by myself in this darkness, with a miserable heart
Why don’t you know? Even if I’m a small existence
Don’t trample on me but go with me
Your careless words and actions break me down
It corners me, though you deny it
I’m hiding behind the ridicule, don’t look for me
It’s right in front of me but I can’t find it like a oriole bird
I’m flying around by myself in this darkness, in my lonely night
I’m flying around by myself in this darkness, with a miserable heart
Why don’t you know? Even if I’m a small existence
Don’t trample on me but go with me
Your careless words and actions break me down
It corners me, though you deny it
I’m hiding behind the ridicule, don’t look for me
There’s an empty world deep in my heart, save me
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
It’s just a passing wind
I try shouting at the person next to me
But only silence is looking at me
I am walking too but why are they getting farther apart?
Why am I standing here alone?
Why is only my world stopping?
I see them fading away farther and farther
I don’t care if it’s just one person, please look back, please hold my hand
I don’t care if it’s just one time, please hold my hand
Someone please stop for a moment
I try shouting at the person next to me
But only silence is looking at me
I am walking too but why are they getting farther apart?
Why am I standing here alone?
Why is only my world stopping?
I see them fading away farther and farther
I don’t care if it’s just one person, please look back, please hold my hand
I don’t care if it’s just one time, please hold my hand
Someone please stop for a moment
There’s an empty world deep in my heart, save me
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Your smile that’s not ridiculing me
Finds me again from disappearing
In the darkness, your smile
Shines brightly into my heart
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Your smile that’s not ridiculing me
Finds me again from disappearing
In the darkness, your smile
Shines brightly into my heart
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Finds me again from disappearing
In the darkness, your smile
Shines brightly into my heart
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Your smile that’s not ridiculing me
Finds me again from disappearing
In the darkness, your smile
Shines brightly into my heart
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
How about you
I`m all about you
I wanna go back to the beautiful days
reset
I`m all about you
I wanna go back to the beautiful days
reset
I’m left alone like this, loneliness
Please hold my hand right now
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
The truth is hidden by scars
I wanna go back to the happy place
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
Please hold my hand right now
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
The truth is hidden by scars
I wanna go back to the happy place
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
Lyrics from here.
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